Notes on this fucking shit. And my new earrings

You want a joke? I want a joke. Something cheery?

So the past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense. 

I am tense. 

Sometimes editors say to me write one of your funny pieces Suzanne. Some of you in this place, say cheer us up. And god knows, I can put up some of the cheerier stuff I have done whenever you like. 

Happy to do so. Most of it …